just thought you should know

the sky right now is amazing. luminous prussian blue with cottony clouds moving so fast and so low that as i stood on the street, the biggest one passed over me like a u.f.o. in the movies. and the stars, wow! they are big, middle of kansas big. seriously, it's like a bierstadt painting come alive, minus the mountains.

i heart chicago

i just got back from that 5k at the stadium formerly known as comiskey park. i SOOO wish i had brought a camera. it was perfect weather, and the race was objectively good; it was well-organized, i was happy with how i felt, and happy with my time. but mainly, it was just SOOOO cool to finish by sprinting into the actual park, like onto the field. then everybody got free beers and watched a surprisingly galvanized local h (yeah) play for an hour. they were undoubtedly hungover or at least sleep-deprived, and they phoned in part of it but were actually pretty cool and very high-energy. bonus points for doing a hard-charging chicago cover in the middle of their "hit" and also a well-executed version of brit-brit's "toxic." (yeah, i do mean chicago the BAND.) pretty funny dudes, too. surreal and fun and quintessentially chicagoan. i really hate that i have to go study now.

there is a shortage in the blood supply, there is no shortage of blood

it's ok. we are back. last couple weeks = low-level smoking habit, ipod trained exclusively on the mountain goats and ida. (i.e., Sad Bastard Music. specifically and especially Tallahassee, unsurprising as this stupid exam has made my brain as dysfunctional as the Alpha Couple.) but we can see the light at the end of the the tunnel. running our 5ks, doing our practice tests, looking ahead to the august we can enjoy, after we kill the bar dead and get drunk for several days. books, travel, friends, sleep--small miracles.

i'm not going crazy, just tired. and tired of seeing the negative effects this professional hazing ritual is having on my good friends.

things i think about in my cubicle:

1. new spoon album = characteristically consistent, an excellent soundtrack to the summer i'm not having. at this point now, they've honed their sound so much that they almost quote themselves. for better ("finer feelings" = wiser, looser, happier "me and the bean"), and for worse ("rhthm and soul" = poor man's "monsieur valentine.") jim eno deserves some kind of medal or something, though. my mind is also blown by the fact that the dude laying down those smoove bass lines was in the mothereffing get up kids. still wrapping my head around that nugget of information.

2. new stars album = i want to like it so much more, especially since this was totally classy and incredibly shrewd. i mean, i knew it wasn't going to match "set yourself on fire", an album i will unreservedly rank as one of the best of the last ten years. this one = too much of what i didn't like about "heart" and no "elevator love letter" to redeem it. it's mainly the piano ballands and the synths--employed more for 80s cheeze than modern atmospherics. and some good stuff to be sure. dude is pulling a full-on morrissey impersonation on a few tracks and it's actually a good look. but overall a little weaker than i expected.

3. target, killing it with their cute sundresses. the photo does NOT do justice. the pinks are pinker and the grey is really a robins-egg blue. i look forward to wearing this when i have a social life again.

4. i am a bad hipster, i haven't listened to lil' wayne, though i respect his constant repping for NOLA. but i saw an interview in which he kept referring to his peers and mentors as "ninjas." this is brilliant for two reasons: (1) it avoids the connotations and controversy of the "n-word" while still evoking it. (2) ninjas are inherently awesome.

5., but should be 1.....new pornos and MY FAVORITE FEMALE VOICE EVER. you know, i think i might go see that.

6. getting legitimately excited about my job, for a variety of reasons.

7. getting legitimately excited about the new caribou record. what i've heard is pretty, intricate and blissed out as ever. merge now = matador 15 years ago? probably better, in terms of both constistency and sheer diversity.

8. where should i move?

9. what should i do in san franciso when i'm there? (bonus points if your suggestion involves food.)

10. i need to study.

amazing

monica eng, you are my hero.

things and stuff

this looks like it may have been kind of awesome. (lzp, can you confirm or deny?) no complaints, though. one of the kansas city julies was in town yesterday and we actually had a really good talk. p.s. the drinks here are AMAZING, 'cause i'm a yuppie like that. p.p.s. i got a 58 percent on my practice multistate bar exam! no, seriously. that's actually a GOOD score. and you wonder why this fucks with my head?

grievances

dear cta,

next year can you, like, not pick the day of the us v. mexico soccer final, cubs/sox game, and gay pride parade to work on the tracks? k thx.

xoxo

c

-------

dear mayor daley,

i know we are a diverse city. and i guess that includes people who listen to boney james. but was it really necessary to host a THREE-DAY "smooth jazz" festival, like, six feet from my school? couldn't you have conjured a bullshit permit violation like you do for your opponents' fundraisers? you studied for the bar once, too.

your pal,

claire

ALSO

oh p.s., while i am still playing hooky from outlining secured transactions essays:

jennifer o'connor* is having a big summer sale! her latest album is still, months and months later, one of my absolute faves, and frankly, i can't think of anybody i know who wouldn't find something to love there. understated and affecting. RIYL, i don't know, elliott smith, "girls can tell"-era spoon, tom petty, ida.

(* no relation, not paying me)

i'll write about something other than music or bar exams again sometime, i'm sure.

survive and advance

i try not to be into nostalgia for nostalgia's sake (which is difficult to avoid lately) but WOW. if you had asked me, "claire, what would it take to rejuvenate you if you were four weeks into studying for the bar and four days into four hours' sleep?" OR alternatively, "claire, what would theoretically be the AWESOMEST superchunk set you could see?" i would direct you to this evening. while, on balance, i'm as much or more a portastatic fan these days, there is no denying the melody and propulsiveness--and generosity--of superchunk at their best. and they were, and they killed it, nailing every nuance of every ripping solo. stef and i were particularly happy to see my personal favorite record "foolish" get some love, BESIDES "driveway to driveway." i pogoed multiple times, until i thought better of it, and/or got a sideache. headbanging is just as cathartic anyway. and it's easier to text simultaneously.

also also there were the mountain goats. this time, there were no hugs, and it was more somber new songs/deep cuts than old "hits", but there was jon wurster on drums (weird/cool; it lent "this year" a "classic indie rock" feel, if i can adopt the term without sounding douchey). even still, i think the metro is a little cavernous for them but with some emotion and ingenuity they came through.

more to the point. i knew that that it was a cancer-awareness related benefit, and i knew it was directed towards the efforts of a particular fan/fighter, but i really didn't know the whole story. some of the family elaborated and it was both heartbreaking. and inspiring. (p.s. they played all three of those songs.)

on a related note, yet firmly in the 21st century (it's nice here!) it looks like SCRAWL is back together. this makes me extremely happy. it would be simplistic to characterize them by their gender (as the "foxcore, my ass" tour made clear)--their harrowing, ass-kicking songs address emotions and dysfunctions readily identifiable to anyone with a pulse and they rock really, really hard. yet it's hard not to ascribe a uniquely feminine perspective to the scope and emotional heft of their songwriting, more weary confessional than romanticized self-loathing. "your mother wants to know" is starker than a country song, and one of very few songs i can think of outside of that genre to really, candidly address--in the PRESENT tense--the unspoken fissures that can exist in the relationship between a parent and adult child. self-doubt and dependency, anger, passion and liberation, it's all there. the world kind of needs them right now. or at least i do.

what else? my brain is oatmeal from all this law stuff. OH: at dinner tonight, i looked up at the baseball game on the television behind us to discover that there is for reals a player named "COCO CRISP." i would not lie to you about something like that.

all i want is one more chance, to be young and wild and free

man. this sucks. sucks and blows. i always thought the students ahead of me were being melodramatic when they talked about studying for the bar, but perhaps not. i'm on day two of studying for this thing, and you know how i was telling everyone i wanted to treat it "like a 9-to-5"? um, try 9-to-9. i'm not going crazy and trying to do every little thing (and unlike a lot of my friends, i'm only taking one class instead of two), but even trying to be "reasonable" it's just very time-consuming. i mean, i have to learn 24 subjects in 7 or 8 weeks, maybe 3/4 of which i've previously taken a class on. i just did a practice test, on the one subject i've been studying for the last couple of days, and and i got 5 out of 17 right. that's not even 30%, holmes. to put it in some perspective, though, that's only a couple questions worse than my friends who have been doing said second class this spring.

shockingly, i really haven't been procrastinating, either! i have so many damn books to carry that i leave my laptop at home. i guess that's good though. it's kind of liberating to be forcibly removed from the internet and its sometimes shallow diversions. and i take some consolation in the fact that most of my friends are in the same suffocating little boat. i mean, my first-year BFF rachael, we've tried and failed to make plans since her graduation party--8 months ago--and i've now seen her twice in two days. sad commentary, eh?

i'll stop bitching now. it's just harsh because i've had a pretty good run of things. i had a fabulous time in dc, and then it was 4 days of being the center of attention, dressing up, eating steak every day, getting drunk every night. intense bro-down session with the brother, rewarding catch-ups with extended family. i uploaded approximately 9 billion photos this week so you can check it out for yourself. but yeah. you know that scene in almost famous? where the kid gets back from tour, beelines to his bed, and promptly passes out, backpack and all? that's pretty much what happened to me on monday after my parents dropped me off. i didn't even eat anything until, like, two in the afternoon, because i took a 4-hour nap. and i usually have, like, two lunches by eleven. still got up and got going to send off loren and ben, though. i miss those two already but i'm excited for their future. i should have talked about that instead of practice test percentages, shouldn't i?

because i said so

erica's comment reminded me that i have not mentioned how unsurprisingly awesome the new sea and cake album is. i have really been feeling one bedroom again lately, but this one's a departure in a good way. more stripped down; i hesitate to say that it's more "rocking", but there's even some actual guitar hooks again. all smoove, no snooze. the perfect soundtrack to early summer (i mean, there's even a song called "coconut"). it makes me want to drink a mojito, and i don't even like mojitos.

the new mary timony on the other hand. . .love that woman, and she is obviously one of the greatest living guitarists, but i'm really not feeling this one all the way. even the four-minute songs feel like they are seven. . . i would instead suggest either or both charlotte hatherley albums. it's like if ms. timony fronted a punked-up girl group. similarly unconventional tunings and inventive guitar work, but in a pop song context.

p.s. there may be trouble a-brewing at emusic, aka the reason why i've even listened to both these albums already. say it ain't so! it doesn't excuse underpaying any artists, if that's happening, but i would agree w/ mr. CEO that itunes = song buyers, emusic = album buyers. hopefully it can get sorted.

can you believe i got to school at 8:40 a.m. today? me neither. can you believe that i haven't started working yet? me too.

half-dozen

1. yesterday--long run, thinking hard about the people of greensburg, kansas. i've never been there, but i've passed through many towns like it. block after block, the question i couldn't shake: how do you rebuild a town that was probably already dying?
still, of course, people need help now even if that question can't yet be answered.

2. interesting barack article in the new yorker. the author kind of sucks, and the article focuses as much or more on his skills as a candidate as his potential to be an actual public servant, but i would still call it a must-read. there's still a lot more i need to know about obama, but this gave some insight as to where he may be coming from.

3. i'm not afraid to say this made me cry, even though it's not at all the first such story i've heard. all you people who prefer cats, i will just never fucking understand. i would have to take some seriously mind-altering drugs to even be able to imagine, hypothetically, a cat acting selfless. (sorry, various friends i've offended.)

4. bill clinton crossword.

5. yet another person agrees with me that grey's anatomy (and its progeny) sucks. the author's argument is a tad shrill/second wave but i generally agree. trust me, it can be difficult to be a woman in a high-pressure, traditionally male profession, and lord knows "confused and self-doubting" describes my personal life more often than not, AND i am obvs all for escapist entertainment (boston legal, and lately, mtv cribs), but when you turn on the tv and see a female professional barge in on a fucking surgery to confront someone about some sort of imagined relationship drama? worst. bonus points for the linkage to ally mcbeal, which disturbed me for the same reasons. she is too kind to sex and the city, though.

6. my love for dunkin donuts coffee is still fierce and bostonian. no coffee of any sort has passed my lips in at least six weeks, but this week, i can't help it. it's just the only appropriate beverage for finals.

freak scene

my apartment is really not the place to be right now. no one here is in a good mood. my roommate is sad because she has a mystery knee injury which has majorly effed up her compulsive running habit, her boyfriend is sad because he's a 1L, and i've just felt jittery and weird for the last 2 or 3 hours. and we're all bummed about finals. howevs, my anxiety is not even about my exam, more the half-dozen urgent things on my mind besides said exam, and all the changes happening in my life generally, buzzing around in my brain at an inopportune time. and probably too much caffeine. seriously, someone pass the klonopin.

although this makes me feel a little better. WOW.

and that said, most of the last several days, at least after saying sayonara to the BUP and turning in my paper, have been pretty laid back, considering. running and sleeping and drinking and laughing and seeing a breathtakingly cathartic ted leo show. and, uh, studying.

p.s. chicago-area readers. i was studying at the loop barnes and noble today and they had several copies of this, in hardback, for, like, seven dollars! do yourselves a favor.

nahmean?

am watching The NewsHour and attempting to study, pre ill-advised dollar-burgers sesh with my soon-to-be-ex-law school bff/recent running partner/perpetual life coach loren, and cotey/dustin/brian. lehrer is interviewing sens. patty murray and kay bailey hutchinson--AKA TWO LADIES--about the president's veto of the iraq spending bill. it is serious, it is rigorous, and JL is not asking patronizing questions or softballs (of course). somehow it feels almost revolutionary. i mean, i'm still pleasantly surprised when i see more than the token amount of female commentators, let alone actual (non-pelosi) elected legislators.

i LOVE you, big black lady with sleep apnea!

somehow, this came up in conversation yesterday and i was compelled to google the actual article--has it really been five years? travis morrison kind of dove into the deep end of quirk these last few years, but this reminds that the d-plan at their best were so humane, funny and irreverent. but regardless about whether you care about some old rock band (it's probably better if you don't), you should READ THIS. not all of it. scroll down to the mid-section. totally hilarious with a very wise conclusion.

the take-away show

oui, oui!

soulful birds and soulless hacks

parish and i saw andrew bird on friday. despite a bad hair day and awkward scarf, the wilsonian hotness was still intact. to be honest, his new one was a grower for me as compared to the mysterious production of eggs, and while he's a favorite, i don't keep all of his songs in heavy rotation. but live, though, the sound he makes is just overwhelmingly gorgeous, especially with the increased production values and augmented lineup that he now rocks. parish was won over by the line, "we'll get back at them all with epoxy and a pair of pliers," and really, can you blame him?

we were both a little non-plussed by the opener, apostle of hustle. the guy is talented, and i like certain of his songs, but he veered a little too far into patchouliville on this particular night. also a lot of lead-guitarist-sexface going on. hopefully none of this will influence the next broken social scene album. also, i think i may have inadvertently convinced one of my classmates that i'm a bigot. AWESOME.

anyway, it is worth noting that mr. bird stated that while he is not playing any summer festivals this year, he is HEADLINING THE HIDEOUT FEST. AT THE HIDEOUT. JAM OF THE YEAR? possibly. and i won't be working yet, so yeah. speaking of, these people clearly aren't on to me yet. on friday they sent me a finals care package (!?) of gourmet popcorn and cookies. um, you had me at "we'd like to offer you a position."

on a complete other note, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. be sure to click on all the links, especially the "UPDATE: MORE". feel free to send this chick a vitriolic email on my behalf. she deserves it.

back to pop music.

p.s. i agree with this post all the way. ALL the way. if you are my myspace internet quasi-friend you will know that i dig this rihanna song. weird, because i had zero time for her before. but i am a sucker for blown-out fuzz bass, whether it's produced by robert schnieder or "c.tricky stewart." yeah, jay-z is on this track but i like it more in spite of than because. even though my expectations for hova are low at this point, it's superfluous, and aggravating: like, really, why the fuck is he on this? it's like he's eager to add grist to the rumor mill as long as def jam's PPS goes up. and dude is right about the "post-rock" thing...i mean, i remember a few years ago, when it seemed like every show i went to, someone was covering that kylie song: cursive, the flaming lips, you name it. which was fun, and sort of justified. but this song actually DOES sort of have that epic sweep that would lend itself well to heavier, guitar-centric artists. anyway, i likewise agree that the new amerie song is pretty decent too. so it's pretty darn similar to "one thing.' and also the horn riff from "hold on, i'm a comin'." but exactly how and why would that be a bad thing? and yeah, i even agree about the amy winehouse. i actually didn't hear the song until fairly recently, but i too am not immune to the charms of "rehab." even though i have to take a shower after even looking at that chick.

poster of a girl

today was not the greatest. one of those days where you feel both restless and sullen, that feels wasted even though you technically got things done. then you receive a photo like this and you feel a little bit better:




red wine, russell stover easter eggs, and multiple episodes of 'arrested development' also help out.

(p.s. that would be sadie grey murphy, the newest addition to the family of my cousin thomas and his wife julie, aka jack and lulu. and s & g are both family names, actually.)

humbling.

so i just got home from my regular thursday night drinking sesh to discover that i'd received a hand-written note from ben and char dykema, the wonderfully midwestern, retired couple that spearheaded the volunteer efforts in which i took part in new orleans in march (from the christian reformed world relief committee, if we're being exact, but whatevs. . . it was secular and i am down with the G-O-D if we're keeping track anyway). fuck, man. i can't even be bothered to put my laundry away.

eff a motion in limine, for reals.

um, holy shit. this happened, like, half a mile from my school.

still, i think i'm less scared of coyotes than i am the chicago police department right now.

on a happier note, jess has an interview next week for a job at GOOGLE! although they must get 999,999 resumes a week, i can't say that i'm surprised.