so, this is totally old news, but, as usual, i've been too busy/lazy (truly a binary, as far as i'm concerned) to convey the deets to more than a few. and although i've gotten a couple good ones, i'm still open to opinions.
so, last week i went to the yacht rock thing, which was totally a good time. as you may recall, i had trouble getting others to commit to going. i actually did run into someone i knew, but they bailed early. but that was fine, because it was fun, and i can make friends. to wit: i found myself in intermittent conversation with the dude standing next to me, in between films. he seemed cute enough, and nice enough, and i was happy with the whole situation. the screening ended, and it was still pretty early, so we continued chatting. we got a drink, and i met his friends, who also seemed pretty chilll, and fairly intelligent. after a while, i remember that it's a monday, and indicate that i need to be leaving. the friends have already left at this point. dude offers to walk me home, but i'm in good shape and it's apparent that it would be a significant detour for him. however, i score digits (in the form of a business card. yet another "hi, i'm old!" moment, but i'm used to it now. as an aside, dude works at ddb, which intrigued me, not in a gold-digging way, but because it further indicated his smarts.)
a couple days later, i shoot him an email reminding him of who i am and inviting him to grab a drink sometime soon. no reponse, until late that friday, when i get an email saying, "hi claire! blah blah blah, blah blah blah. blah blah. anyway, i'm seeing someone right now, i don't want to lead you on or anything. see you at bar x or bar y, or at the next yacht rock thing!"
lead me on? no, you only bought me a drink, talked to me for an hour, offered to walk me home, and gave me your number. totally MY BAD. i'm not pissed, it's more just...weird. even if he thought we were just 'bar buddies', you'd think he would have alluded to his situation at some point.
more to the point: why is it that, even when i'm engaging in the most innocuous and straightforward dating rituals, something still goes horribly awry? maybe i should go ahead and send in that app for the convent. they probably can't go after me for my student loans in there, anyway.
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I don't know, it seems like he mentioned it at the right moment, to me. I suppose he could have slipped in a "yeah, my girlfriend loves Yacht Rock, she would have been here but..." comment, but that's hard to do and be convincingly off-handed, and if you aren't convincing then it can come off as insecure, insulting, or presumptuous, any of which is negative or can be embarrassing. Why go through the internal drama of trying to slip it in when you can just enjoy a nice normal conversation instead?
And then...late night, in a big city, you simply must offer to walk/drive/otherwise accompany a woman home if you just talked to her for an hour. Who she is and what she means to you is irrelevant. Look, I'm the last one to say there are ironclad rules men should follow in the world, but making sure a woman can get home safely is damned close to an absolute.
Nevertheless, feel free to take issue with his buying you a drink. ;) And you didn't mention how the number-exchange took place, so I won't speculate about that part.
hey jason! i hear you, i totally hear you, but i think you had to be there...either way, i'm glad that he got in touch and "cleared the air", so to speak.
From a female perspective . . . I hear you sister! Why are guys so reluctant to bring up the significant other. . . I think they should all wear signs on their foreheads (ones they can't take off when they want) . . . :) Love ya! Julie D.
really?? if i join a convent i dont have to pay back my student loans? hmmmmm.....
that's totally retarded. if you are "in a relationship" it eventually would come up in the conversation, unless you intentionally edit it out. bunch of savages in this town.
sorry we bailed on yacht rock by the way. someday i am going to see an episode!
i know...the immediate response from nearly everyone i've talked to is that he must have been "single for that night." whatever. i just had to laugh. and vent.
yeah, i hope there's eventually a dvd or something so that you can enjoy it--do you guys have trouble with quicktime on your computer?
I, too, am baffled by dating. I think it comes from not having a real job; I am still perpetually in high school, and my dating skills haven't progressed. I think the convent idea isn't bad; after all Jack Black found a cute nun in the monastery in Nacho Libre!
--Poorani
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